Experienced great time with fellow vets. Learned that life is about living the moment, with no fear of retribution. Fear only controls emotion which creates hostility and anger. Being outdoors has broken me into pieces by realizing pain. Thoughts that were buried I brought to the surface. On the walks these thoughts consumed my every breath. Memories are always going to remind me of where I was before deployment, during deployment, and currently. I am not a horrible person. Only to get better.